Things are escalating in the bedroom, getting hot and heavy, arousal is heightening and your body is responding… and then a thought pops into your head.
“I forgot to switch the laundry”
“Wait.. how does my ass look from his angle?”
“Did the oven get turned off?”
All of a sudden your mind is wondering alllll the way away and you’re frustrated because you just want to be here and now.
Does this sound familiar?
By far one of the most common sexual concerns voiced is “how do I get out of my head”?
The answer is going to be unique to you, and it takes some experimenting, trial and error and self reflection. But here I’ll share a few of my suggestions to get you started!
Try New Sensations
Sometimes the root of this issue is redundancy. When you have a sexual routine, whether that’s with a partner or solo - we can get sexually bored without even realizing it. Which leads to a wandering mind and less presence in the moment. The sexiest thing to our brains is novelty - so try adding a new sensation to your experiences and see if your mind brings more focus to that sensation. You can do this with a new position, a new environment or a new toy that creates a sensation you haven’t experienced before. Air pulsation is relatively new - and if you’re seasoned with a vibrator, this might be the answer for you!
Air pulsation gently strokes and pulses the clitoris creating a lovely cupping sensation on an extremely sensitive region of the body. Some people describe it as similar to oral sex, but in my opinion - it is an entirely separate feeling unlike oral or a vibrator.
If you have a vulva and struggle with staying present during sex - try an air pulsation and see how it works for you!
Make the Switch from Sexual to Sensual
If you struggle with rushing thoughts and staying present during sex - you might benefit from a sexy mindfulness practice.
Instead of focusing on the end goal of orgasm during sex, focus on the sensual feelings you experience as things heat up. Instead of rushing the arousal cycle - slow down and focus on broad expansive touch. If you’re with a partner, give each other slow and sensual massages without the expectation of penetration or orgasm. Talk about where you like to be touched and how. Do you like a soft caress of the back of your neck? Do you like rough scratches on your back? Take turns expressing and practicing different levels of touch with your partner.
Making this switch will help you get used to focusing on the sensations in your body, the somatic experience of sexual touch. Feel free to utilize tools such as massage oil, candles, and lighting to enhance the experience even more.
Get Kinky to Drop Into Your Body
BDSM/Kink is such a beautiful tool to gain more access to your body and quiet the racing thoughts during sex. This realm of sexual practice allows you to play, explore and experience in a much broader and more expansive way. You can try adding restraints, role-play or impact play - all things that will aid in bringing you into your body and out of your head. These things often bring your mind into a different place - and they have a sneaky way of bringing your awareness and focus to what is happening in the moment.
We have a wide selection of BDSM and kink products in store, if you want to add some toys and tools to this journey!
Try New Things and Communicate Your Needs
If you’re with a partner, this struggle can be frustrating. My final piece of advice is to try new things and find what works for you. And then communicate your feelings and needs to your partner. It can be so helpful to hear encouraging and supportive words during sexual frustrations - and you deserve to have pleasurable experiences!
Sex can be complicated and messy, but whatever your experience - you deserve access to pleasure and joy. At Excitement we promote pleasure for the sake of pleasure, and we’re happy to assist in the tools that will get you there.
Stop in to any of our locations to check out our ever expanding inventory and go home with something FOR YOU! You deserve it.