Sex toys sometimes get a bad wrap when it comes to relationships. I’ve heard them described as frivolous, unnecessary, or even as a symbol that something is “not going well” in the bedroom. I’ve seen male partners feel intimidated by their female partners' use of a vibrator, or feeling shame and drawing the conclusion that their anatomy isn’t “enough'' to get her off. But these opinions are misguided, to say the least. They often stem from a lack of education - and the cure is just keeping an open mind.
The truth is, sex toys are amazing tools to enhance all your bedroom activities. They don’t remove anything - rather they add to the experience! When we strip all the external preconceptions away, we can see sex toys for what they are. Just some vibrating silicone that feels good! And as tools to enhance your sex life.
Incorporating these tools could benefit your relationship! Here are 3 ways that sex toys can enhance a relationship:
Intimacy and Connection
The incorporation of sex toys into partnered sex can lead to more pleasure for all parties. The more everybody is getting adequately aroused, and accessing those pleasurable sensations in their bodies - the closer you are going to feel to each other afterwards.
It can also help the prioritization of your partner’s pleasure. Nobody wants a selfish lover! Sex is about a shared experience, and prioritizing that makes the experience much more intimate. Most women orgasm from external stimulation - and if you’re normal experiences only include penetration, adding a vibrator into that mix could help close a potential orgasm gap in the relationship.
Adventure and Exploration
A lot of couples don’t effectively communicate about the sex they are having. Especially when you’re in a long term relationship, it can be easy to fall into a routine that takes all the excitement out of the experience. When you start adding sex toys into the mix, it offers the opportunity to actually discuss the logistics of sex.
You might think you know everything that your partner likes or wants sexually, but if you have a tool to use you probably need to ask them how to use it properly! This opens up that communication which is the number one thing that leads to better sex.
It also gives you both the opportunity to explore new things and reignite a sense of adventure in the bedroom. If you’ve never really used toys before, you get the chance to really explore this arena with each other and find out new things about your partner!
Pleasure Focused Sex
In this culture, sex is often very goal oriented. We focus on the destination (orgasm) rather than the journey (pleasurable sex). This can lead to performance anxiety and a vicious loop of not being able to orgasm because you’re so in your head about having an orgasm!
Just using a sex toy doesn’t automatically do away with this issue, but exploring with new tools and trying new things sexually can help mitigate the effects by shifting your focus towards pleasurable feelings and away from the goal of orgasm.
Pleasure focused sex benefits both people in a relationship because it allows everybody to be more relaxed and present.
These are just a few examples of how things can really shift in a relationship when you open your mind, heart and body up to the possibilities of vulnerability and connection. And even if it’s hard to believe - using “outside” tools like sex toys can really bring you closer in this way.
At Excitement, we are huge proponents of pleasure advocacy - and our goal is for you to experience pleasure in your body! Stop in to any of our locations and grab a new toy today, you’ll be one step closer to a more ecstatic sex life!