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3 Practical Tips for Introducing Kink into the Bedroom

Kink and BDSM are areas that spark curiosity and excitement for many of us, but diving headfirst into this world can sometimes leave folks feeling overwhelmed. With countless products to choose from and little guidance on how to use them, it’s easy to feel unsure about where to begin. Do you just send it with a new impact tool like a whip? Or invest in a full bed restraint kit and have your partner tie you up?

A kink journey is going to look different for everyone. But the good news? You don’t have to navigate this alone or rush into it. By taking things slow, staying open to learning, and prioritizing clear communication, you can approach this new adventure with confidence and clarity.

So if you’re ready to explore ways to spice things up in the bedroom but aren’t sure how to get started, these three practical tips will help set you on the right path.

YES/NO/MAYBE List

One of our favorite activities to recommend, the want/will/won’t list is an excellent way to get started on your kink journey. The idea is simple - you have three columns labeled want, will, and won’t. You write down every kinky or sexual act you can think of and drop them into one of the three columns. The first column (labeled want) is your hell yes’s - these are the activities you can’t wait to try because they really excite you! The second column (labeled will) are things you might be vaguely interested in, are a little curious about or are just simply willing to try. And the third is your hard no’s. These are your boundaries, and include things you have no interest in even trying once.

Compare your list with a partner’s list and see where you align! It’s not only really helpful on a kink journey, but it’s a lot of fun to do, especially with a partner. And you can even print out a copy of the template here!

Sensation Play

Sensation play is something that I always recommend starting with when it comes to kink or BDSM. This can include really soft things like feathers, or less gentle activities like wax play. It’s a wide spectrum, but the idea is to explore and emphasize the sensory experience which I find is the foundation of kink and BDSM. Starting with a blindfold and the gentle use of a Wartenbergwheel can help you practice dropping into a place of heightened awareness toward sensation.

Whether you start slow or fast, sensation play gives you the opportunity to explore with low stakes. But don’t forget consent and communication are still key here!

Read books and attend workshops

At the end of the day, if you’re feeling curious but don’t know where to start - a little dose of education is probably exactly what you need! Check out some books on the topic, follow some educational creators, attend workshops, and seek out the information that will help you feel confident and clear going forward.

Our stores are a super valuable resource, staffed with educated and helpful folks ready to get you acquainted with products and answer any questions you have while learning.

This blog, and our stores are a great place to start, but you can also check out books like Smart Sex by Dr. Emily Morse or Playing Well with Others by Lee Harrington & Mollena Williams.

Exploring kink and BDSM can be an exciting way to deepen intimacy and bring fresh energy into your relationship, but it’s important to approach it with care and intention. By starting small, communicating openly, and staying curious, you’ll create a foundation for safe and enjoyable experiences that reflect your desires. Remember, this journey is about discovery and connection, not perfection.

So, whether you’re just dipping your toes in or ready to take things to the next level, trust the process and have fun along the way. Your pleasure is worth it!