A personal hero of mine, Dr. Lindsey Doe (host of Sexplanations on Youtube) developed an exercise called the “want, will, won’t” list. It’s a way to further understand yourself and get clear on your boundaries and desires. It also serves as a helpful tool for communicating these things to your partner! It works like this:
Column 1 is the want list. In this column you include all of the juicy sexual acts that you know you love. These are things that are YES’s in your book.
Column 2 is the will list. In this column you’ll put everything you’re open to, but not necessarily hard yes on. These are the things that are, “maybe I’d try it!” in your book.
Column 3 is the won’t list. These are all of your hard no’s, absolutely not, non-negotioable sexual acts.
Everybody’s want, will, won’t list will be completely unique to them. Be specific - and recognize that things shift and change. The list is fluid, not rigid. Maybe you find out something in your will list needs to be moved to the want column. This is part of the fun!