Feeling fully relaxed and aroused is vitally important for any kind of penetrative sex, anal or not. But it’s especially important for anal sex, and even more so if you’re just starting to explore this avenue of pleasure. The more tense and nervous we feel, the more tense all of our muscles will be, which can cause pain. For anal penetration, it’s important to start small to get your body acclimated to the sensation, and take a lot of time to relax and turn up the heat before even attempting penetration. While it’s normal to feel a little nervous/excited to try something new, you should never feel pressured or scared to try anal penetration. Start exploring with things like fingers or small butt plugs before attempting anything that’s a bit more intimidating.

Fun power dynamics aside, it can often feel safer and more comfortable for the receiver of anal penetration to have control over the position, depth, and speed. Especially if it’s your anal sex debut, making sure you as the receiver have control over these elements of the fun can help ensure comfort and pleasure for both partners. Have a bunch of conversations beforehand about what you’re nervous about, how you expect it to go, and what you’re looking forward to. This can not only make the entire experience more enjoyable, but it can also foster deeper trust and intimacy between sexual partners!