Having trouble reaching orgasm during partnered sex is one of the most common sexual concerns - especially for folks with vulvas. The clitoris is really the powerhouse of orgasm, and yet penetrative sex doesn’t always provide adequate stimulation to this area. So it makes sense that those of us with a clitoris would have trouble in this area.

Toys can help tremendously with this concern because they can provide that missing stimulation to the clitoris. While this concern can have its roots in sexual shame, performance anxiety or body image issues - a lot of the time it is an issue of simple anatomy, and simple adjustments can make a huge difference!

Choosing a toy that is easy to slip between bodies, and easy to maneuver is key. I recommend something small but powerful, and ergodynamic. This will give you room to explore and make it easy to adjust as needed.

Sometimes orgasm concerns are rooted in performance anxiety. One impact of our culture’s cisheteronormative sexual scripts is that we believe men are responsible for the sexual experience being positive and pleasurable. This sense of responsibility and overall pressure to perform can lead some folks completely out of their bodies and into their heads. A stressful place to be, and not conducive to reaching orgasm!

So in this realm, toys can help not only break that script - but also take the pressure off of one individual. Using toys together can completely switch this up, and get all parties involved out of their heads and into their bodies.

For this concern I recommend any toy that makes you feel excited to try it!